I am Fuming!

Craig goes out back to BBQ dinner and says, "Where's [Oldest Princess'] bike?" I reply, on the back porch. Well, it wasn't. His and mine are, but hers isn't. Some assclown stole it off the back porch! Didn't take mine and Craig's, or the pumps, etc, on our bikes. Just hers. Now joke's on them as hers was about $200 and ours were considerably more. But anyway, we've lived here 10 years and haven't had any problems, even when a certain someone (who shall remain nameless....grrrr) leaves his vehicle unlocked. This was on the back porch, behind the gate. You can't see it from the front. I'm betting that someone saw it over our back fence. This highly pisses me off!